What it was to say goodbye, she never knew. She had never believed in farewells. Goodbyes had been falsely named so because partings and separations from those who were special, those bonded by satin gold threads, had never been ‘good’! If they were accompanied by tears brimming up to the cups of eyes; by choking voices struggling in throats; by overwhelming clouds of grief or a deadening silence, which said it all then what comical piece of human intelligence had named them ‘goodbyes’?
No! She defied the laws set up by the pathetic world which kept on making painful things even more excruciating. In fact ‘goodbyes’ were just a sugar coating on the most difficult to swallow tablets (separation) which at the end still stayed bitter! Farewells were not well and goodbyes were not good.
There were no endings for her. Even endings had no ends.
So she made a world of her own, with her own explanations. A better world to survive in. Where there were no separations. To her goodbyes did not exist at all. Because people, people were a breeze, a zephyr, a gush of cold wind, or a gale. Some stayed within the air around her, brushing softly past her face; setting her wild locks in an oblivious dancing state. Others whooshed past her, bringing a charge of electricity in everything around, making her insides buzz followed by a complete silence. While some brought along a storm, a downpour of tears and moved to another stop to unleash their power again. But people never left. They always stayed, in the air, near or afar.
Because people, people were a dash of energies. Exuberant, dazzling ones or concoctions of murky yellows and grays. They entered her life at different points, some existing before she had even started to exist. But the distinctive feature of people in her life was, that they never stopped to exist. People like energies, only transformed.
They transformed into memories, into static photographs. In the songs sent or nicknames saved. They transformed into lessons learned and blessings afloat. But they stayed, just in different forms. Obviously, the greatest transformation of death was the most difficult to accept, yet she always believed to meet their light and blithe state in the other world. They were not far away, in fact, if one looked closely, they were right there. Smiling from the corner of a broken star, waiting to embrace her when she embraced the final transformation. And so she never had to say ‘goodbye’. Existence never had to end.
The world had various statements and opinions. Some showered sympathies: the poor one lives in a state of denial. Some jested, she’s a coward, scared of embracing the truth. Others proposed, she just needs to learn to let go of people, she finds it very difficult. She needs to learn that all things good and bad come to an end.
Yet she knew she never had to let go. She knew she was not a lunatic. Why believe she would never meet her friend again just because she was moving off to another country? There was an equal probability of meeting her again as much as there stood of not seeing her. She simply chose to believe in the pleasant truth than the painful one. She knew she was not a coward because choosing the more painful explanations was not bravery, creating and believing in the alleviating ones was! It was not denial, it was optimistic rationalism, as her friend proposed.
So people in her life came and never went. Chapters started but never had to end. They always stayed in different shapes, different colors, different forms. She always believed to meet people again (physically) if need be. After all destiny was a great friend. And she never had to say goodbyes or farewells-wrong words created to describe a wrong phenomenon!
P.S: She lived a tad happier than the rest of the pathetic ‘world’.
The featured image was taken by Maryam. To see more of her work, visit her Instagram @nazuksuratehaal or her Facebook page.