chusni

chusni

ab ki baar jo aankh khuli to zehn main pehla khayaal yeh hi aaya kay main houn kidher. garmi shadeed thee. poora jism paseenay main sharaboor tha. jaanay kab ki bijli gai hoi thee. aahista aahista demagh roshan hona shuroo hoa to cheezoun ki samajh aana shuroo hoi. bijli kay na honay kay baayas zero ka bulb bujha hoa tha. khirki say baahir kahin say koi mohoom si aaloodgi main doobay chaand ki roshni aa rahi thee. usi roshni ka sahaara lay kar paani ki botal ki talaash shuroo ki. halaq bilkul khushk ho raha tha, paani pee chuknay kay baad thori jaan main jaan aai. ghari daikhi to raat kay teen bajnay ko thay, dobara sonay ki shadeed khwaahish thee laikin itni garmi main kaisay neend aati. pehli hi raat aur yeh museebat, apni aql par maatam karnay ko ji kar raha tha.

main yahan aaj hi aaya tha. apna shoq tha aur itni jaldi hi bhugatna parr raha tha. kitna mana kia tha phupho nay, laikin meri zidd thi jo main nay poori kar kay chori thee. khud rehna hai, apnay paaoun par khara hona hai, zimadaarian samajhni hain zindagi ki theek say. kitni bari bari baatain suna kar aaya tha main un ko. itna kuch keh kar na aaya hota to kal apna thora sa samaan utha kar waapis chala jaata un kay paas. waisay chala to main abhi bhi jata, phupho nay konsa kuch keh daina tha.

phupha sheher kay kamyaab tareen sanat kaaroun main say aik thay so wasaaail ki rail pail thee. jitna bara un ka ghar tha, utnay hi dhair saaray un kay bachay bhi thay. phupho abbu say bari itni theen kay un kay bachoun kay bhi aik adh bachay meray hum umr thay. bachoun kay hajoom ki wajah say ghar main har waqt oodham macha rehta. kabhi idher say koi shor uthta, kabhi udher say. puraanay zamaanay kay loug thay, zindadili ko hi zindagi samajhtay thay. dil to mera foran lag gaya laikin aik ghar say nikal kar doosray ghar main rehnay ki khwaahish na thee. yeh hi azaad rehnay ki khwaahish thee jo mujhay phupho kay ghar kay thanday kamroun say utha kar is tandoor jaisay garm andhairay kamray tak uthaa lai thee.

ab apnay azaadi kay shoq ka bharm rakhnay kay liye is ghuttan ka azaab sehna parna tha. khuli fiza kay rehnay waaloun ko waisay hi shehroun main kahan sakoon milta hai, aur yeh jagah to kuch aur bhi zaada ghuttan say bharpoor thee. chotay chotay makaan, tang tang si galiaan, ilaqay main pehla qadm rakhtay hi aisay laga tha jaisay waqt kay dhaaray main bees saal peechay ka safr kar lia ho. jee main yeh soch bhi aai thee kay kaisay reh laitay hain idher loug, na taaza hawa, na sooraj ki roshni, na bootay, na pairr. tabhi shaid tang galioun kay makeen khush kum rehtay, qudrat say itna door koi kaisay khush reh sakta hai bhala?

gali kay kinaray kuch kuttay aik doosray par bhonk rahay thay. shaid garmi kay sataaye, ya phir macharoun say tang. apnay raag alaapnay main achi tarah mehav, dunya kay talkh haqaaiq say la’taaluq. un kay bhonknay main laikin mujhay aik faida zaroor tha, sath waalay kamray say aanay waalay zordaar kharaatay, kuttoun kay bhonknay kay shor main dab rahay thay. main nay phir ghari ki tarf daikha aur bijli kay aanay ki dua ki. shaid qabooliat ki ghari thee, ya shaid bijli kay aanay ka waqt, bijli aa gai. mariyal sa pankha, jo chalta kum tha aur shor zaada karta tha, holay say reengnay laga. hawa ka halka sa jo jhonka laga to shukr kia. insaan doob raha ho to waqai tinkay ka sahara bhi ghaneemat hoti hai. thori hi dair main meri dobara aankh lag gai.

mujhay is shehr main aaye doosra hafta tha. graduation ka pahaar tala to nokri ki fikr ki. abba ji ka kehna tha kay is tarah kay kaamoun main mat paro. unhoun nay samjhaaya kay un kay khandaan main kisi nay aj tak nokri nahi ki. main nay unhain bataaya kay yeh hi wajah hai hum aaj bhi udher hi hain jahan pachaas saal pehlay thay. is baat par unhain bohat ghussa aaya, mujh par bhi garjay aur maan ji par. meri taleem kay hawaalay say bhi baat hoi aur maan ji kay khandaan kay ooper bhi. nateeja yeh nikla kay maan ji bhi biphar gain. shuroo main maan ji khamosh raha karteen theen, magr ab woh chup nahi raha karti theen. pehlay pehal abba ji ka roab tha un par, ab maamla ulat tha, ghar main woh hi hota jo maan ji ki marzi hoti. abba ji shaid is baat say waaqif thay, par jali hoi rassi kay bull ki tarah apni zidd par qaaim rehtay.

ab jab bhi in dono main taakra hota, maamla khatm amma ji kay haqq main hi hota. amma ji hamaari ki tabeyat mizaahya thee, ghussa main bhi aisi baatain kar jaya karti theen kay hum loug bashamool abba ji, apni hansi na rok paatay. abba ji na shairni ko lalkaara tha, khoob behas hoi dono main. main aur baray bhayya dono konay main moun chupaaye apni hansi roknay ki nakaam koshish kar rahay thay. jab maamla thanda hoa to mujhay pata chala kay door paar aik shehar main abba ji kay dost ki koi bohat bari company hai. us main mujhay woh kisi nokri par lagwa dain gay.

marhala is par tall jaata laikin aglay roz chusni bhi aa gaye kay agar yeh nokri par jaaye ga to mujhay bhi is kay saath hi nokri karni hai. chusni ka asl naam bohat lamba sa tha aur is main bohat say qaafiye aur radeef istemaal hotay thay. ab albatta woh pukaaray aur pehchaanay chusni kay laqb say hi jaatay thay. umer main who baray bhayya kay sath kay thay laikin paanchween jamaat main itni baar fail hoay kay main aur woh hum jamaat bun gaye. la ubaali aur khalandri tabeyat kay maalik thay aur zindagi main kisi cheez ko sanjeedgi say lainay kay aadi to har giz hi na thay. dheet, sust, aur kaahil bhi kuch zaroorat say zaada thay laikin zinda dili aur bahaadari main bhi bilkul yakta. nidarr bachpan say hi itnay thay kay school main bachay to bachay, master sahab bhi un say dara kartay. lamba chora qadd, mazboot jism, aur chehray par hamaisha qaim rehnay waali aik hawannaq si muskarahat un ki pehchaan thee. zindagi main kabhi kisi nay un ko us muskaraahat kay bina nahi daikha tha. kaisay hi halaat houn, chusni ki hawannaq muskaraahat joon ki joon qaim rehti. khushi ho, ghum ho, amn ho, jang ho, chusni apni haalat say na hat’tay. humain yaqeen tha kay yeh sotay main bhi isi tarah rehtay hain aur yeh koi itni ghalat baat bhi nahi thee.

woh chusni kaisay mashhoor hoay, yeh bhi aik alag hi kahaani hai. hamaara gaaoun aik bari sarak (highway) aur aik chotay say qasbay kay darmayaan waqia tha. aik adh meel ka faasla ho ga qasbay kay sath, aur taqreeban itna hi faasla ho ga bari sarak kay sath. zikr hai yeh un dinoun ka jab in ki choti behan daant nikaal rahi thee. bachi choti thee magr dheetpanay main hobahu chusni ki photocopy. ghar waalay us kay ronay dhonay aur shor karnay ki aadat say shadeed tang thay. nanhi tab hi chup karti jab us kay moun main koi chusni ho. jaisay hi chusni moun say nikalti, ronay dhonay aur bayhungam shor ka silsala dobaara shuroo ho jaata.

un kay kisi khala zaad ki shaadi thee aur pooray khandaan nay baraat kay sath doosray shehr jaana tha. hamaray gaoun ko jo sarak highway say milaati woh aik patli si kachi sarak thee. us par tanga aur gadha gaari to chal jaatay, par bus waghaira na chal sakti thee. is hi wajah say baaraaot waloun nay bus highway kay kinaaray khari karni thee. aur idher say in logoun nay taangay main baith kar udher tak pohanchna tha. is soorat-e-haal main baraat main shaamil hona aik mushkil marhala tha. diqqat say bachnay kay liye bohat zaada taal mail ki zaroorat thee. baraat bhi door jaani thee, waqt bachaana aur bhi zaroori tha kay dopehr kay khaanay say pehlay baraat manzil-e-maqsood tak pohanch jaaye.

in ki ammi ka khayaal tha kay agar nanhi aisay hi roti rahi to shaadi main un kay sath sath sab ka shareek hona mahaal ho jaaye ga. so nanhi ko khamosh karwaanay kay liye dhair saari aisi cheezoun ka hona zaroori tha jo us ko khamosh rakh sakain. jis roz in logoun nay baraat main jaana tha, ghar waaloun nay subah hi subah in ko chotay qasbay ki taraf chusnian khareenday ko rawaana kia. takeed bhi ki gai kay foran jana aur foran aana. waqt thora tha, inhoun nay bhi sir hilaaya kay bus yeh konsa mushkil kaam hai main abhi gaya aur abhi aaya.

yeh cycle doraatay doosray qasbay pohanchay. udher ja kar in ko kuch apnay dost mil gaye ya khuda jaanay kia waqia bana, in ka dhayaan khail kood main lag gaya aur wajah-e-aamad bilkul bhool gaye. jaib main paisay bhi thay, woh bhi kharch kar baithay. idher ghar waalay muntazir. udher yeh baykhabr. chacha mehr taanga lay kar kharay hain. sab ghar waalay tayaar, nanhi ka shor badastoor jaari, har tarf phaili awazaari. kabhi koi uthaaye kabhi koi jhoolay dilaaye laikin woh bhi pakki itni kay khamosh honay ka naam hi na lay. ghar walay to ghar waalay saaray gaaoun walay peepal kay darakht talay baithay in ki raah tak rahay hain.

sab aas lagaaye baithay kay door say yeh aatay dikhay. sab khush hoay kay chalo dair sawair hoi par zaada nahi, itna to baraat waalay ruk hi lain. ab jo yeh ghar pohanchay to khaali hath. unko to yeh bhi na yaad tha kay woh qasbay gaye kyunkar thay. is baat par inki apnay waalid sahab say woh dhulaai hoi kay khuda ki panah. jitni dair in ki tabeyat saaf hoti rahi, utni hi dair nannhi bhi khamosh rahi. jaisay hi un kay waalid ka hath rukta, nanhi phir ronay lag jaati. par majaal ho jo itni dhulai ka bhi koi asr hoa ho in par, usi tarah daant nikaaltay rahay. ‘bhool gaya to bhool gaya, ab kia karoun’, in ka kehna tha.

waalid sahab itnay jalaal main thay aur muaaf karnay ka koi iraada na tha, saza kay taur par in ko aur nanhi ko ghar chor kar khud rawaana ho gaye. hairatangaiz baat yeh kay ghar say taanga nikalnay kay baad jaisay hi inhoun nay nanhi ko uthaaya, nanhi khamosh. poori aik raat aur agla din inhoun nay akailay guzaara magr nanhi ki majaal jo aik baar zara sa bhi roi ho. aros paros main sab nay khairiat daryaaft ki, sab hairaan kay yeh maajra kia hai. par yeh dono khushbash aur mukammal khamosh. bus woh din aur aj ka din, kisi nay inko in kay asli naam say na bulaaya. ab to yeh haalat thee kay shaid hi koi in ko in kay asli naam say waaqif bhi raha ho.

meri aur in ki dosti ki kahaani bhi youn hi hadsaati si thee. meri jamaat main yeh 5 maheenay rahay laikin meri in say kabhi baat na hoi. barsaat kay din thay aur chaawaloun ki fasl lagi thee. gaaoun say school ka rastay ka kuch hissa chaawaloun kay khaitoun say guzarta tha. aik tang si pangandi thee jis par cycle chalaanay say mujhay darr lagta. jab main idher tak pohanchta, cycle say utar kar us ko apnay saath dhaikailta lay chalta. chaawal ki fasl ko lagataar paani dia jaata hai. fasl katnay say kuch dair pehlay tak aik aik baalisht paani fasl main khara rehta hai. pagdandi choonkay in khaitoun kay beech thee jo hamaish paani say tar rehtay to is par hamaisha thori nami aur phislan rehti. cycle to cycle, paidal chalna bhi itna asaan na hota. aur us din to waisay hi baarish kuch zaada thee. kuch qudardti phislan, aur kuch taaza taaza baarish kay baais keechar. meray paas baray bhayya ka wazni cycle jis ko main bamushkil ghaseet’ta hoa lay ja raha. aik jagah kuch aisa pair phisla aur main dharaam say khaitoun main gir gaya.

cycle meray ooper aur main keechar main phansa hoa. itna bhaari cycle kuch main is andaaz say us kay neechay daba kay us ko khud par say hataanay ki har koshish nakaam. school ki chutti kay baad is pagdandi par koi itna aata jaata bhi na tha. main bacha tha, mujhay lagnay laga kay aj to meri zindagi ka aakhri din hai. ghabraahat main halq say awaaz bhi theek say nahi nikal rahi thee. bus khamosh say aansouun ka silsala jaari. aisa main kia daikhta houn kay chusni kharaamaan kharaamaan chalay aa rahay hain. mujhay daikha, rukay, aur phir khait say nikaala. bari mushkil say keechar main dabi hoi jooti nikaali. hansay bohat mujh par laikin kuch kaha nahi. saara rasta wapasi ka woh meri cycle dhakailtay laaye. thori bohat baat cheet bhi hoi, par us din kay baad say hamaari dosti ho gai. subah subah aa jaatay school say pehlay darwaaza khat khataanay, cycle nikaaltay, khud hi chalaatay aur main araam say peechay baith kar school pohanch jaata. meri daikha daikhi unhoun nay parhai bhi karna shuroo kar di, aur paanchween to kia agli saari jamaatain hum nay ikathi hi parheen. parhai main woh buray nahi thay, shaid achay hi hotay laikin pehlay kabhi unhoun nay pass honay ki koshish hi na ki thee.

matric, fsc, graduation bhi hum nay ikathay hi ki. zinda dil aadmi thay, university main kaafi har dil azeez rahay. un ki wajah say main ghair nisaabi sargarmion main bila jhijhak hissa laita, meri wajah say apni thori bohat tawajjuh parhai par laga daitay. dono ka faida tha, waqt bhi acha guzarta, maqsad bhi hal ho jaata. ab to unhoun nay nokri ki farmaaish bhi kar di thee. yeh aik anhoni si baat thee, un kay abba bohat baray zameendaar thay aur daqyanoosi khiyaalaat main hamaaray abba ji say bhi aik do nahi bulkay pachaas haath aagay thay. un kay liye yeh bardaasht karna kay un ka baita kisi ka nokar ho bara hi mushkil marhala tha. yeh bhi apnay moaqqaf say tuss say muss na hoay. kuch hi din ki zidd kay baad hum dono hi baray shehr main abba ji kay dost ki company main mulaazim lag gaye. pehla hafta phupho ki tarf guzaarnay kay baad main bhi aj unkay sath us makaan main muntaqil ho gaya tha jidher chusni thay.

makaan kia, aik ujra hoa mazaar sa tha. khasta deewaarain jo khandaroun main to shaid bohat achay say jachteen, par zinda insaanoun kay rehnay kay liye hargiz mozoun na theen. do kamray ooper aur do hi kamray nichli manzil par thay. bait ul khala bhi tha, jis main nalloun main paani kum hi aata tha. nall kholo to pehlay shaain shaain ki azaaz aati, phir kabhi kuch qatray paani kay nikal aatay. jaisay ap par sareehan ehsaan kar rahay houn. chat bhi jagah jagah say tooti thee, raat ko haajatrawaai kay sath khala kay muft nazaaroun ki sahoolat muyassar thee. jagah albatta shehr kay ain wast main thee. yahan say daftar ka faasla taqreeban na honay kay baraabar tha. ghar main samaan kay naam par do tooti kursian, aur kuch charpaayiaan theen jo shaid misr kay kisi ehraam say nikli theen aur apni tabai umer kab ki poori kar chuki theen.

chusni aur main abhi abhi is makaan main renanay ko aaye thay. hum say pehlay bhi do adad loug idher reh rahay tha. ab hamaaray nazool say is makaan kay kul makeenoun ki tadaad chaar ho gayi thee. hum dono kay ilawa idher rehnay waalay thay maqbool aur murshad mooch. maqbool aur hum dono to mulaazim bhi aik hi company main thay.

murshad mooch darmayaani umer kay intehai khush mizaaj insaan thay. un ki moonchain aur daarhi itni ghani theen kay agar puraanay zamaanay main hotay to shaair mehbooba ki zulfoun ki bajaaye un ki daarhi ko shab-e-daijoor say tashbeeh dia kartay. sir par woh albatta ustra phaira kartay, subah subah baith kar rozana daftar jaanay say pehlay ustra phair kar tail ki maalish kia karna un ka mamool tha. paas hi aik company kay daftar main kisi achay khaasay ohday par naafiz thay. par tabeyatan darwaish sift thay so saadgi ki zindagi ko apnaaye baithay thay. sab ki madad karnay ko hamaisha tayyar rehtay – saaray jahan ka dard hamaaray jigr main hay, walay shair ki chalti phirti misaal thay woh. theek thaak tankhwaa thee un ki, kuch paisay ghar bhaij kar baaqi saaray idher udher laga diya kartay. shaadi shuda thay shaid, saahib-e-aulaad bhi thay par apnay ghar waaloun ka zikr hum say ya kisi aur say bhi bilkul na kartay thay. har jummay ki shaam albatta apnay gaoun chalay jaata aur do din ghar guzaar kar aya kartay. unka gaaoun itna door nahi tha, shaaid do teen ghantay ki musaafat thee. dono mian bivi khat-o-kitaabat kay shauqeen thay. itnay khat aatay kay humain lagta mehakma daak walay in say tang hain. subh hi subh daakiya aik neela moattar sa lifaafa ghar kay darwaazay kay neechay rakh jaata. yeh kursi par baith kar, radio laga kar who khat parha kartay. kabhi kabhi taranumm main aatay to khat main likhay shair oonchi awaaz main gungunaatay. ghazb ki awaaz thee, sehr sa taari ho jaata hum logoun par. cigerette chaaye kay dildaada thay magr hamaaray saamnay cigerette har giz nahi peetay thay. un kay aik dost bhi thay majeed bhai, aksar shaam main aaya kartay. majeed bhai daarhi moonchoun say bay nayaaz thay par sir kay baal gehray syaah, ghanay aur lambay. hamaaray khayaal kay mutaabiq yeh dono aik doosray ko mukammal kartay hain. shaid is liye hi in dono main itni gaarhi chinti thee. khoob behas mubaahisa hota un dono kay beech, chaaye chalti, hum bhi baith kar un ki baatain suntay laikin meri aur chusni ki samajh main shaaid aik aadh baat hi aati.

jitna murshad mooch ronaq pasand thay, utna hi maqbool khamosh taba. maqbool ka chehra baytahaasha masoom tha, is qadr kay daikh kar demagh main pavitr cheezoun ka aks bun jata. mujhay hairat hoti thee kay itni masoomiat kisi insaan kay chehray par kaisay aa sakti hai. maqbool say milnay say pehlay main soch bhi nahi sakta tha kay aisa hona mumkin bhi hai. qadd main maqbool bilkul meray jitnay thay, bus mera jism zara warzashi tha, yeh thoray dublay lagtay. maqbool insaanoun ki bheer say door rehna pasand kartay, kitaaboun main magn to kabhi apnay hi masghaloun main lagay jin ki samajh kam-az-kam mujhay na aati. hum dono main koi bhi qadr mushtarik to na thee magr us kay bawajood un kay liye meray dil main batahaasa uns aur rafaaqat thee.  main maqbool say roz kehta kay aayain baahar chalain, kuch warzish waghaira ho jaaye gi laikin who hans kar taal daitay. tum jism banao, khush raho, mujhay meri kitaaboun main magn rehnay do keh kar mujhay taal daitay. main bhi chusni kay sath rehnay ka aadi tha so dheetpann main kaafi aagay tha, roz shaam main pohanch jaata kay chalain maqbool, par woh roz hi taal daitay. in kay waalid sahab kisi siyaasi party kay baray taaqatwat mohray thay, laikin maqbool ko siyaasat say chirr thee. murshad mooch kay baqol maqbool ka maamla hazrat moosa kay maamlay sa tha, udher firoun kay ghar moosa, idher apnay ghar yeh.

maqbool ki zindagi ka aik aur bohat bara masla in kay aik chacha thay. woh wilaayat main bohat baray sanat kaar thay aur apni akloti dukhtar-e-naik akhtar ka aqd in say karnay kay khwaahishmand thay. maqbool ki is qism ki zindagi say jaan jaati thee, is jhonpri numa makaan main woh un sab say chupay rehtay. apni dunya main magn, apni darwaishi main gum. meray sath rehnay walay saaray hi mujh say mukhtalif thay, main dunya main taraqqi karna chahta tha, yeh saaray zindagi samajhna chahatay thay. chusni ka hisaab faraq tha, woh khud bhi nahi jaantay thay kay woh kia chahatay thay.

pehla hafta guzra to zindagi ki aadat si ho gai. aik maheena guzra to phir wohi gallian jin say shuroo main daakhil hotay hol aatay thay, apni lagnay lageen. baasi fiz aur ghalaazat say bhari gali bhi ghar si lagnay lagi. insaan bhi na, jahan rehna shuroo karay waheen ka hi ho kar reh jata. daftar main kaam shuroo main to bilkul samajh nahi aaya phir rafta rafta kaam bhi samajh aanay laga. maqbool nay bohat madad ki, baray tareeqay say samjhaatay aur kuch ghalat kar bhi do to foran madad kar daitay. na maathay par shikan aati, na mizaaj main karakhtgi. mujhay baray bhayya nay aanay say pehlay yeh hi bataaya tha kay ab tum nokri kar rahay ho, har koi tumhaari taangain khainchay ga. idher mujhay yeh lagta kay shaid itnay shafeeq loug to woh bhi nahi thay jinhoun nay parwarshi ki thee.

chusni aur main sar-e-shaam sarkain naapnay nikal jaatay. kabhi idher, kabhi udher. pehli tankhwaa mili to hum nay kahin say do lawaaris kism ki tooti phooti cyklain bhi khareed leen. shaam maghrib kay waqt nikaltay to raat ko isha kay baad aatay. waapasi par paan pakar laatay aur murshad mooch kay kamray main baraajmaan hotay. woh maqbool ko bhi bula laitay, aur tash ki baazi jamti. khailtay khailtay waqt ka tab ehsaas hota jab gali ka moazzan fajr ki azaan kay liye uthta. mehfil barkhwaast hoti aur hum sab apni tooti charpaayioun ki tarf dortay. maqbool hi thay jo subah jaldi uthtay, nashta bhi baychaaaray bana dia kartay. murshad mooch to waisay hi kum khaatay, main aur chusni hi thay jo raashan ka haqq ada kartay. kabhi kabhi humain apnay nadeeday pan par sharm ka ehsaas hota. laikin yeh ehsaas zaada dair taari na rehta.

murshad mooch mujhay aksar samjhatay kay dunya main rehna hai to auroun kay liye jeena seekho. apnay mafaad say nikl kar dunya daikho. apnay pait kay ilaawa sochna seekho. kitaabain parho. demagh kholo. mehnat karo, taraqqi bhi karo magr insaan ko samajhnay ki koshish karo. maqbool jaisay farishta sift insaan say hi kuch seekh lo. main suni an suni kar daita. kabhi kabhi un say shikaayat kar daita kay chusni bhi to meri tarah kay hi hain, unhain to kabhi aisa koi lecture nahi milta. laikin murshad mooch keh daitay, ‘abhi nahi samjho gay tum, abhi tum niray safaid kaaghaz ki tarah ho, simple white blank paper’.

daftar main jis din kaam zaada karna parr jaaye, us din meri jaan jaaya karti. mujhay maqbool ko daikh kar hairat hoti thee, saari raat khush gappioun main laga kar bhi daftar main hashaash bashaash rehtay. meri to aksar aankh bhi na khulti. khaali demagh kaam kia karta. daftar kay loug bus theek hi thay. apni apni dunyaaoun main magn. kisi say zaada baat na hoa karti. shaid saaray hi halaat kay sataaye thay, murjhaaye phooloun ka chaman lagtay. nau say paanch ki zindagi main bandhay hoay, diloun main ghum-e-rozgaar paalay, apni hi hasti kay bojh talay dabay hoay.

par aik hasti aisi bhi theen jo in sab main munfarid theen. yeh mehru theen. khush mizaaj, hans mukh aur bala ki mehanti. waisay to har insaan hi apni zaat main koi na koi kashish rakhta hai par mehru un logoun main say theen jo jahan jaateen, sab par haavi ho jaaya karteen. libaas ka saleeqa, zahaanaat, milnasaari, sab kuch hi to tha un main. meri hum umr theen, magr daftar main mujh say aala ohday par naafiz theen. maqbool aur woh aamnay saamnay baitha kartay, mujhay maqbool par kai dafa bara rashk aata. kaisay saara din woh un ki nazroun kay saamnay rehti hain. zara si aankh uthaain to saamnay mehru. jahaan saara daftar mehru kay qurb kay liye baytaab tha, wahan maqbool moqay kay ba wajood bhi apni haddoun main raha kartay. un ka zaahir aur baatin aik sa tha, unhoun nay mehru say hamaisha achay tareeqay say hi baat ki, salam dua kartay, hans bhi laitay laikin hamaisha paishawaraana adaab ko malhooz-e-khaatir rakhtay.

mehru say meri salam dua chusni ki wajah say hoi. tha kuch youn kay mehru audit kia karteen aur chusni ghalatian. dono ki khoob behas hoa karti. nateeja hamaisha yeh hi nikalta kay mehru theek hoteen par chusni nay kahan kabhi kisi ki suni. is paishawaraana ikhtilaaf ki wajah say chusni ko mehru aik aankh na bhaaya karteen. company main har saal kay aakhir par aik chota si taqreeb hoti jis main achi kargardagi dikhaanay waalaoun ko nawaaza jaata. kuch dil behlaanay ko khail kood hoa kartay, achi ronaq lagti, sab tafreeh manaatay. khail kood kuch aisay thay kay mukhtalif logoun ki teams bana karteen takay saath kaam karnay waaloun main baaham rabt barhya. ab ki baar jab teams baneen to chusni bara satpataaye kyunkay woh aur mehru aik hi team main shaamil thay. jis shakhs ki zimaydaari teams banaana theen, yeh us say jaa kar laray. woh ghareeb bhi hairaan kay tum aik waahid ho jo khush nahi magr chusni bazid rahay aur apni manwa kar hi chori. shaam ko jab unhoun nay apni fatah ka walihaana izhaar kia kay kaisay unhoun nay apnay naam ki jagah mera naam mehru ki team main dalwaaya to khush honay walay akailay sirf woh hi nahi thay. meray dil main bhi itnay laddoo phootay kay agr halwaai hota to aik aadh maheenay unhi ladduo’n ko baich kar acha khaasa guzaara kar laita.

taqreeb main chotay chotay khail tamaashay hoay, aik naqsha mila, us kay mutaabiq kuch cheezain dhoondhni theen. hamaari team kay loug cheezain dhoondnay ki koshish main mazeed do do ki jorioun main batt gaye. mehru kay hissay main main aaya aur mujhay laga jaisay rab meray mann ki muraadain khud bakhud poori kar rahay hain. waisay to main bohat zaada bolnay waaloun main say tha laikin zindagi main pehli baar ehsaas hoa kay mehsoosat zada houn to alfaaz kum parr jaatay hain. taqreeb main kia hoa kia nahi yeh mujhay yaad nahi, albatta yeh zaroor hoa kay mujhay mehru say baat jeet karnay ka aik acha bahaana zaroor mil gaya. us kay baad main roz dopehar main un ka sir khaanay pohanch jaata. aik din mera baahir khaanay ka iraada tha, maqbool ko bohat manaaya laikin woh nahi maanay. chusni bhi kahin ghaaib thay, mehru ki taraf multajiana nazroun say daikha to woh maan gain. mujhay is iqraar ki hargizz tawaqqu nahi thee so ab paraishaan honay ki baari meri thee.

hum dono baahir aaye to mehru booleen jaain gay kaisay. meray paas apni tooti phooti cycle thee. so main khamosh raha. unhoun nay phir poocha, main nay saaf bata dia kay meray paas to aik khataara si cycle hai jo asoolan dafn ho chuki honi chaye. ab woh bohat hanseen. phir ja kar gaari lay aaeeen. us zamaanay main to mujhay to gaari chalaani bhi na aati thee. saara waqt main un say yeh hi sawal karta raha kay gear kab badaltay hain. clutch kyunkar istemaal kia jaata hai. mehru tang to shaid bohat hoi houn laikin unhoun nay meri nadaaani ka bura na maana. zaada sawaaloun kay jawaab dainay kay baad woh is baat par bhi maan gaain kay woh mujhay gaari chalaana sikhaa dain gi.

jab hum restouraan main khana kha rahay thay to mujhay mehsoos ho raha tha jaisay poori dunya main is waqt shaid hi koi mujh say zaada khush kismat ho. darzeeda nigaahoun say kitnay hi loug humain ghoornay main masroof thay. main nay nazroun hi nazroun main mehru ki nazr utaar li. zaahir hai, sab ki tawajjuh ka markaz woh hi theen, mujhay bhala kis nay daikhna tha. mehru ko main nay gaaoun ki kitni hi kahaanian sunaain, kuch sachi, kuch such main thoray say jhoot ki milaawat kay sath. unhoun nay kabhi gaaoun nahi daikha tha so mera jhoot sach dono hi qabool hoay. mehru ko gaaoun daikhnay ka ishtiaq tha, kehnay lageen bus tumhara gaaoun zaroor daikhoun gi. mujhay yeh sun kar kitni khushi hoi thee.

phir yeh baat mamool bun gai. hum aksar dopehar ka khana khanaay baahar jaaya kartay. maqbool ko hum dono bohat kehtay laikin woh na maanay. chusni aksar aa jaatay. shuroo main un main aur mehru main jo tanao tha rafta rafta woh bhi khatm ho gaya. mehru ko laga karta tha kay chusni unhain daikh kar mazhaka khaiz tareeqay say is liye muskaratay hain kay woh khud ko un say behtar samajhtay thay. chusni ko yeh laga karta tha kay mehru say un ki hansi bardaasht nahi hoti is liye woh jaan boojh kar un say behas karti hain. apni jagah dono hi ghalat thay. ab jab thori jaan pehchaan bani to pata chala kay un dono main bohat si cheezain mushtarik hain. mehru nay un say maazrat kar li aur chusni nay mehru say aur woh dono baray achay dost ban gaye. zindagi kitni behtareen ho gai thee, achaanak say. har cheez apni jagah par ain mutaabiq, bilkul sahih say, kaamiliat kay khoobsoorat ehsaas ki sarshaari kay sath.

laikin shaid zindagi aur sarshaari ka aik doojay say taa’aluq aarzi sa hai. chusni ko ghar say bulaawa aaya kay foran ao. un kay abba ki tabeyat bohat kharaab rehnay lagi thee. hum dono aik haftay ki chutti lay kar gaaoun waapis aa gaye. gaaoun waisay ka waisa hi tha, utna hi khoobsoorat. wohi peepal ka darakht, us kay neechay bichi charpaayiaan. dayra, dayray par bhainsoun aur bakrioun ka bandha hona.

chusni kay waalid ko dil ka aarza laahiq tha. doctor un ko jawaab day chukay thay, kehtay thay mutabadil dil lagaana paray ga. baahir jaana paray ga phir kahin kuch ho. chusni kay abba nay saari zindagi apni marzi say guzaari thee, kehtay thay marna to hai hi, is mitti main rehna hai, agar dil hi badalwa lia to kia hamaisha zinda rahoun ga. chaar paanch saal kay izaafay kay liye main apna dil nahi chornay wala. behas hoti, na maantay, bistar par laitay laitay bhi apni shaahi na chori thee.

chusni ko daikh kar kharay hoay. galay lagaaya. bohat pyaar kia. zindagi main pehli baar un kay moun say chusni kay liye kuch lafz niklay jo gaalian na thay. raat ko main bhi un kay kamray main tha, chusni say kehnay lagay kay baita ab mera waqt khatm hoa hai. tu shaadi kar lay aur waapis aa ja. aj raat houn main, kal subah na houn ga. mera khayaal tha chusni hamaisha ki tarah zidd karain gay laikin unhoun nay bina behas kiye usi waqt haaami bhar li. ghar main jaisay toofaan aa gaya. dhama chokri mach gai.

hum saaray kahin say dhoond dhaand kar aik dhol bhi utha laaye. jo soyay hoay thay unko jagaaya gaya. jo jaagay hoay thay un ko sataaya gaya. muhallay waaloun ko bulaaya gaya. beghair kisi dulhan kay hi chusni ko doolha banaya. tappay gaaye. ronaq lagaai. chusni kay abba bhi poori taqreeb main shaamil rahay. raat dair tak silsala jaari raha aur chusni kay waalid sahab poori mehfil main shaafil rahay. agli subah jab hum uthay to hamaray sath uthnay waaloun main woh na thay.

bari shadeed toofan aaya tha us roz. hum bari mushkiloun say un ki mayyat lay kar qabristan pohanchay. rastay main kitnay hi kachay makaan daikhay thay jo toofan ki shiddat ki taab na la sakay thay. chusni nay apnay haathoun say apnay waali ki mayyat ko qabr main utaara. waapis aatay aatay toofan ka zor toot chuka tha. khunk si hawa chal rahi thee. toofan guzr jaaye to ajeeb sa fasoon taari rehta hai, woh jo toofan main bikhar gaya us ka ghum, woh jo toofan say bach gaya us ki khushi. chusni ki zindagi bhi shaid aik aisay hi toofan say guzr rahi thee magr un kay chehray par qaim rehnay waali muskarahat badastoor apni jagah par thee. waapis aaye to kuch dair main un ki talaash main dhundya mach gai. maloom para kay yeh gaoun kay bachoun kay sath gulli danda khailnay main lagay thay. aisay hi jaisay kuch hoa hi na ho.

hum nay kuch din main waapis aana tha so aanan faanan aur raat-o-raat hi chusni kay rishtay ki baat pakki hoi. teen maheenay baad ki tareekh rakhi gai thee, khizaan kay foran baad, sardioun say zara pehlay. maheena bhi chusni nay khud hi chuna.

main waapis aaya to is baat par bohat udaas tha kay kuch maheenoun kay baad chusni waapis chalay jaain gay. maqbool milay. unhoun nay mujhay bohat samjhaaya. bari tassali di. hum paanchoun kamray main baithay thay. murshad mooch aur majeed bhai main bari dhamaakay daar behas chal rahi thee.. murshad mooch ka kehna tha kay zaati qurbaani dainay say insaan ka martaba buland hota hai. majeed bhai aisi baatoun ko kitaabi baatain keh kar taal rahay thay. woh kehnay lagay

‘koi kisi kay liye nahi marta, koi kisi kay liye nahi jeeeta, sab ko apni fikr hai. ghum ho ya khushi, insaan ki zindagi ka maqsad bus apni chota sa mafaad hai. ghareeb ka koi khuda nahi hota. faqeer ka khuda woh jo us ki muraaad poori karay. bhook aik atal haqeeqat hai. mafaad say bara sach koi nahi hai. insaan apnay mafaad kay liye kuch bhi kar sakta hai. dunya kay sab qawaneen ko balaay-e-taaq rakh sakta hai. koi acha nahi, koi bura nahi, bus sab hi apnay mafaad kay peechay hain. koi maanay ya na maanay, kitnay hi filaasfar kuch bhi kehtay rahain, kitnay hi mazhabi rahnuma aatay rahain, dunya ki haqeeqat bus mafaad hi hai. aur yeh dunya is mafaad kay gird hi chalti hai’.

maqbool chup kar kay sun rahay thay. main faqt khirki say baahir daikh raha tha. tareek gali, jis main dono tarf insaani ghalaazat kay dhair lagay thay. gaaoun say waapis aa kar apni gali say badboo aa rahi thee. kuch dair idher rehnay kay baad main badboo ka aadi ho jaaya karta tha. abhi mujhay shaid mazeed kuch waqt darkaar tha.

aglay din mehru mileen. unhoun nay meray moun par 12 bajay honay ka baayas poocha. main nay bata dia kay anqareeb chusni chalay jaain gay. zindagi badl rahi hai aur main is tabdeeli kay liye abhi mukammal tayyar nahi. un kay jaanay ki udaasi mujhay abhi say hi itni mehsoos ho rahi hai to baad main kia ho ga. aakhir loug jaatay hi kyun hain? kyun nahi bus aik sa waqt qaaim rehta? meri udaasi ki daikha daikhi mehru bhi udaas ho gain. chutti kay baad meray maiz par aa kar baith gaain. aik adh chocolate bhi thee un kay pass, apnay purse say dhoond dhaand kar mujhay day di. hansaanay ki koshish karti raheen. kehnay lageen tumhain aik naya masghala chahye, bus is haftay say tumhaari gaari chalaanay ki classes shuroo. aisay hi agar tum yeh qanooti shakal bana kar baithay rahay to waqt say pehlay hi boorhay ho jao gay aur yeh mujhay gawaara nahi.

phir mehru aateen aur main un kay sath nazdeeki park main gaari chalaanay jaata. shuroo main mujhay bilkul samajh na aai, aik do dafa to gaari main nay seerhioun par bhi charha dee laikin mehru aik achi ustaaad theen. na sharminda karteen na baatain lagaya karteen. thori si koshish kay baad main seekh hi gaya. aik din kehnay lageen aj yahan say tum ghar tak gaari lay kar jao gay. main nay abhi tak sarak par gaari na chalaayi thee, bohat minnatain keen unki kay ap ko marnay ka aisa kia shoq hai. apni zindagi say kyun naraz hain. laikin woh na maneen. dartay dartay main nay gaari sarak par daal hi dee. thori dair main ehsaas hoa kay mera khof bilawajah ka tha. koi itna mushkil kaam na tha yeh. dil main jo izteraab tha woh bhi khatm hoa. yeh mehru ka hi hosla tha, mujh say zaada meri salaahiatoun par unko aitemad tha. jab hum apni gali kinaaray pohanchay to mujh say zaada who khush hoin.

mehru kay khandaan main taqaareeb ka silsala aksar chalta rehta tha. is baar ki taqreeb main mehru nay hum teenoun mujhay, maqbool, aur chusni ko bulaaya hoa tha. sheher say door samunder kinaray koi jagah thee, udher jaana tha. main nay maqbool ko kaha to unhoun nay saaf inkaar kar dia. chusni bhi apni shaadi ki tayyari kay silsalay main kuch aisay masroof thay kay unhoun nay bhi maazrat kar li.

jis shaam ko taqreeeb thee us subah mehru nay bataay kay achay say tayyar hona kyunkay ‘black tie event’ hai. meray paas pehannay ko koi aik acha suit bhi na tha. maqbool ko bataaya, woh bolay, aray is main paraishaan honay waali kia baat hai. jhat say gaye aur apna aik suit nikaal laaye. yeh bohat hi mehnga sa suit tha aur maqbool nay khud bhi aj tak na pehna tha. main nay is ko pehannay say inkaar kar dia.

‘insaan aisa na ho bhala kay apni shakhsiat say mehngay kapray pehan lay’ main nay shikaayat ki.

‘anmol ho tum meray bhai anmol, yeh to sirf aik suit hai. zidd mat karo aur jao foran pehno’. maqbool nay malaamat ki.

suit pehan kar khud ko chotay say ainay main daikha to andaaza hoa kay kaafi acha bhi dikh sakta houn. agr koshish karoun ya kapray mehngay pehan’na shuroo kar doun. jootay bhi maqbool kay hi thay, tie bhi unhoun nay hi dee. surkh rang ki aik shokh si tie thee, saath aik surkh rang ka romaal. mujhay apna ap filmi hero say milta julta lag raha tha. mehru nay gali kay kinaaray tak aana tha. main wahan khara un ka intezaar kar raha tha aur guzartay hoay rahgeer mujhay hairat say daikh rahay thay. mehru aaieen. pehla sawaal un ka yeh hi tha kay main akaila kyun houn. maqbool kidher hain. chusni kidher hain.

‘meray kehnay par koi nahi aata, ap khud hi daikh lain’ main nay shikayat ki. mehru bhi shaid intezaar kay mood main nahi theen. kehnay lageen ‘chalo, kahan hai tumhara makaan’. hamara makaan aisa nahi tha kay wahan insaan kisi ko lay kar jaaye laikin inkaar karta to aur museebat banti so chaar o nachaar un ko lay kar chal dia.

mehru ko lay kar ghar pohancha. darwaaza khatkhataaaya. maqbool aankhain maltay baahir aaye. shaid so rahay tha kyunkay aankhain bilkul surkh ho rahi theen unki. mehru ko is tarah darwaazay par daikh kar bhonchka say gaye woh. meri tarf daikhnay lagay, main nay masoom si shakl bana kar dikha di. bhala mehru ko kon rok sakta tha, aur agar koi rok bhi sakta to main un logoun main say har giz na tha.

‘ap tayyar houn maqbool, hum apka intezaar kar rahay hain’. mehru nay maqbool say kaha. ‘jitna waqt laina hai lay lain, laikin bus’. mehru nay israar kia.

maqbool nay maazrat kar li. mehru nay aik dafa phir kaha. maqbool ki maazrat is dafa pehlay say zaada khushk thee. main nay maqbool ko zindagi main kabhi kisi ko is tarah inkaar kartay nahi daikha tha. mehru chup ho gaeen.

‘chalain’. main nay un say kaha.

‘chalo’. woh udaas say lehjay main mujh say bolein.

gaari main nay hi chalaaye. mehru bohat udaas lag raheen theen. shaid un ko tawaqqu nahi thee kay un ko koi is tursh lehjay main inkaar bhi kar sakta hai. humain kaafi door jaana tha aur mujhay theek say rastay bhi nahi pata thay. har mor par un say poochta kay ab kidher jaana hai, ab kidher. khuda khuda kar kay hum wahan tak pohanchay. mehru nay yeh to bataaya thay kay kaafi bari taqreeb hai, laikin itni bari taqreeb ho gi yeh main nay socha bhi nahi tha. mehru kay kisi khalazaad ye chachazaad nay koi bara karnaama kia tha. us ki khushi main sab ikathay thay. na na kartay bhi taqreeban teen chaar so loug thay. main aik konay main la’taaluq ho kar baith gaya. mujhay yahan mehru kay siwa jaanta bhi kon tha jo kuch kehta. kuch khaanay ka bhi dil nahi tha. maqbool aa jaatay to kia tha. kum az kum koi baat cheet karnay wala to hota. mehru bhi nazroun say ojhal ho chuki theen. door ki maiz say kuch larkian meri tarf kinakhioun say diakhnay main masroof theen magr is waqt main hargiz mehru kay siwa kisi ki tawajjuh ka taalib na tha.

meri nigaahain har jaa mehru ki talaash main theen laikin woh nazr na aain. phir iraada kia kay uth kar logoun say pooch loun kay woh hain kidher. kuchi dair ki khoj kay baad pata chala kay mehru kahin baahir nikli hain. yeh jagah shehar ki roshnioun say kaafi door samundar kinaray thee. samunder say aanay waali taaza hawa, lehroun ka saahil say takraana, baadloun ka asmaan main raqs, sab kuch bohat hi dilfaraib sa tha.

thori dair idher udher ghoomnay kay baad mujhay mehru nazr aa gain. dalaan main fawaray kay sath baithi theen. unhoun nay safaid rang ka aik bara sa lehnga numa libaas pehna hoa tha jo un par bohat jach raha tha. door say aisay lag raha tha jaisay who bhi is fawaaray ki araaish ka hissa houn. ujlay safaid sang-e-marmar ka mujasma. agar hawa say un ki littain urr na rahi hoteen, to shaid main unhain mujasma samajh kar apni talaash jaari rakhta.

main un kay paas ja kar baith gaya. hawa kay har jhonkay kay saath fawaaray ka paani baarish ki tarah dalaan main bikhr raha tha. ab ki baar jo jhonka aaya to mujh par bhi paani ki phuwaar si pari. taraawat ka aik ehsaas tha, jo rooh ki gehraaioun tak utar sa gaya tha.

mehru mujh say maazrat karnay lageen kay is tarah mujhay tumhain akailay chor kar aana nahi chahye tha. tum dikh bhi to itna achay rahay ho, saari larkioun ki tawajjuh tum par thee so bus mujhay acha nahi laga kay un ko thori si khushi say mehroom kar doun. meri tawajjuh to un main say kisi par nahi thee par main chup raha. dil kar raha tha kay mehru ko aisay hi tiktiki baandhay daikhta rahoun. maqbool ki moti moti kitaaboun main say aik shaairi ki kitaab main bhi parh raha tha. mujhay kabhi bhi shaair logoun ki baatain samajh na aati theen. ab bohat si baatain samajh aanay lageen theen. mehru mujassam shairi theen, par woh kisi kay takhayul ki takhleeq na theen, aik haqeeqat thee, jeeti jaagti meri nazroun say kuch faaaslay par maujood haqeeqat.

mera dil kar raha tha kay main un ko umer khayaam ki rubaaiyaan sunaoun magr main chup hi raha. thori dair hum aisay hi baithay rahay aur daftar ki baatain kartay rahay, phir waapis chal paray. phooloun ki kiyaarian, ghaas, samundari hawa, fawwaray ki phuwaar – jo lamhay ruk jaanay chahye hain, woh bohat jaldi guzr jaatay hain.

us raat mujhay neend na aai. khyalaaat ka silsala ik door ki maanind tha jo mujh say lapaita na ja raha tha. shaid mujhay mehru ko bata daina chahye tha kay woh mujhay pasand hain. itna acha moqa tha jo qudrat nay mujhay dia tha. ab yeh phaans shaid meray dil main phansi rahay. ya shaid kask bun kar meri aahoun ko sard karti rahay.

aik taraf yeh ehsaas tha kay mujhay mehru pasand hain to doosri taraf demagh yeh haqeeqat baawr karaanay par qaaim tha kay main un kay qaabil nahi. makhmal main taat kay paiwand nahi lagaaye jaatay. abhi muhabbat ki samajh bhi to nahi hai tumhain. har chamakti shaye sona lagti hai tumhain. chaka chond kuch bhi ho, tumhari tawajjuh udher markooz zaroor ho jati hai. tumhain zindagi ko samajhnay boojhnay main waqt darkaar tha. kuch waqt. ya shaid bohat zaada waqt. demagh keh raha tha.

us kay baad masroofiat barh gai. chusni ki shaadi kay liye mujhay aur unko aik maheenay ki chutti laini thee. kaafi saaray kaam jaanay say pehlay nimtaanay thay. chusni nay to waapis bhi nahi aana tha, un ki jagah par koi aur ho ga, main yeh filhaal maan’nay say inkaari tha. hum nay chutti kuch is tarah li thee kay hamaray waapis jaanay kay do teen din main hi chusni ki shaadi thee. us kay baad aglay pachees din hum logoun nay sair o tafreeh main bitaanay thay. itna bara mulk tha, saara daikhna tha. main nay chusni ko bohat kaha tha kay bhai ap dono chalay jana laikin woh bazid thay kay hamaara poora khandaan aur un ka honay waalay khandaan ikatha jaaye ga.

‘saari zindagi hum dono nay hi guzaarni hai aik sath, shuroo say hi khandaan ikathay rahain gay to waqt zaada acha guzray ga’ un ka moaqqaf tha.

chusni ki shaadi hoi. daftar say bhi loag aaye. abboo kay dost, hamaari company kay maalik bhi aaye. mehru bhi theen. murshad mooch aur majeed bhai bhi aaye. maqbool ki bhi hum nay aik na chalnay de aur dhakkay say unhain khainch laaye. mehru ka gaaoun daikhnay ka ishtiaq meri kahaanion ki wajah say aur bhi zaada tha. dopehar ko woh pohanchin aur samaan kholnay say pehlay dayray par bhainsoun ko daikhnay aa maujood hoin. zidd karnay lageen kay unhoun nay bhi doodh dohna hai. koshish bhi ki. thori bohat kamyaabi bhi hoi. jo bhains unko pasand aai us say doodh nikaalna sab say mushkil tha. tikti hi nahi thee woh aik jagah par laikin mehru nay bhi apni kar kay chori.

shaam ko main aur woh tubewell main pair latka kar baithay thay. shaam khunk thee aur meray daant sardi say baj rahay thay par unko koi farq hi nahi par raha tha.

‘achay gaaoun waalay ho tum, main to tumhain himmat waala samajhti thee’. woh boleen.

‘himmat wala houn, lakri ki taangoun waala nahi’, main nay kaha aur taangain nikaal leen.

mehru kay baqol shehr main kabhi asmaan theek say daikhna naseeb na hota tha. so un ki charpaaye un kay kehnay par ghar ki chat par bichaaye gai. gaaoun ki saari larkian bhi un kay gird jama theen. un ko aisay daikh rahi theen jaisay zindagi main pehli baar kisi aurat ko daikha ho. aisi hi theen mehru, jidher jaateen sab ko apna garveeda bana laiteen. saari raat woh un ko kahaanian sunaati raheen. baatain chalti raheen. mujhay lagta tha kay mehru agar kabhi gaaoun aaeen to sakht tang houn gee laikin woh itni jaldi sab main ghul mil gaeen thee kay lagta tha yaheen pali bari houn.

maqbool, main, chusni, majeed bhai aur murshad mooch door khaitoun main charpaiyaan utha laaye thay. murshad mooch bohat udaas thay. shaid hum paanchoun hi bohat udaas thay. kitnay mukhtalif loug thay hum sab par kitna behtareen waqt guzra tha. kitna haseen ittefaq tha kay itnay mukhtalif say loug is tarah ikathay houn. hum nay acha khasa arsa guzaara tha par shaid hi koi halki si ranjish bhi rahi ho diloun main aik doosray kay khilaaf.

lehlahaati fasl thee. gandum thee shaid. abhi poori tarah say khari nahi hoi thee. ta hadd-e-nigah. hawa main lehraati gandum. khamoshi. sir par khulay asmaan ka saaya. kal un teenoun nay waapis chala jaana tha. yeh shaid hamaari bohat lambay arsay tak kay liye akhri mulaqaat thee. yeh raat, yeh sakoot, yeh sakoon yeh sab kuch ik tarah ka aakhri alwidaa tha.

‘larko, zindagi main kabhi kisi ko ghum na daina’, murshad mooch keh rahay thay. ‘kabhi kisi ko jaan boojh kar aziyat na daina, chup chaap bardaasht kar laina par aglay ko sataana mat. yeh duniya bohat khobsoorat hai, bus hum hi hain jo is ko khoobsoorat nahi rehnay daita. khud lartay hain. khud lakeerain khainchtay hain. khud tafreeq kartay hain. khud jangain kartay hain, fasaad phailaatay hain, choti choti baatoun par kusht-o-khoon kar daaltay hain. phir khuda ko zimaydaar thehratay hain. phir khuda say lartay hain. us ko kehtay hain kay khuda teri dunya main insaaf nahi. yeh bhool jaatay hain kay hum apni zaat main bazaat-e-khud dunya hain. hum yeh bhool jaatay hain kay hum khud hi asal zaalim hain. hadsaat hotay hain, waqt sada aik sa nahi rehta, kabhi qudrat hum ko sataati bhi hai par insaan agar apni fitrat main acha ho aur muhabbatain baantay to safr acha kat hi jaata hai. sahaaray mil hi jaatay hain. waa dar bhi khul hi jaatay hain. muskarahatain taqseem karna larko muskarahatain baantna. khud ko haqeer samjha karo. yeh kaynaat purisraar hai, kitnay hi raaz hain jo is kay wasee seenay main madfoon hain. hum apni zaat ko is kaynaat say bhi buland samajhtay hain, apni anaa kay buland-o-baala meenaar banaatay hain, un par charh kar doosrooun ko haqaarat ki nigah say daikhtay hain. khushian baantnay waalay bann’na larko, khushian baantnay waalay’

phir subh ho gai. chusni ki shaadi khairiat say anjaam pazeer hoi. bhabi bhi chusni ki tarah har waqt hansnay waali theen. tasveerain khinchnay ka waqt hoa to maqbool aur mehru aik sath baithay thay. main nay zindagi main itna khoobsoorat jora aj tak nahi daikha tha. dono na sirf shakloun kay balkay diloun kay bhi khoobsoorat thay. mizaaj kay dheemay, un pursakoon pahaari jheeloun ki maanind shaffaf jin ki teh main chupay pathar bhi satah say nazr aa jaatay hain. jaanay kyun meray dil say dua nikli kay khuda in kay diloun main aik doosray kay liye muhabbat daal day. main to mehru kay qaabil tha hi nahi. magar maqbool. maqbool to shaid banay hi mehru kay liye thay. mujhay mehru say muhabbat thori na thee. bus qurbat ki khwaahish thee. woh bhi mujh par multifat zaroor theen, par un ka iltifaat baradarana uns ki maanind tha. us kay ilaawa un kay dil main meray liye shaid kuch na tha.

us raat woh sab waapis chalay gaye. main apni charpaai udher hi lay gaya jahan kal hum paanchoun ki charpaayiaan theen. saari raat asmaan takta raha. dil main bus aik hi dua thee, khudaya maqbool aur mehru kay dil main aik doosray kay liye muhabbat daal day. hamaari kaynaat main jaanay hamaari jaisi kitni aur dunyaain houn. kitnay hi maqbool aur kitni hi mehru un main abaad houn. ya khuda, un tamaam kay diloun ko aik doosray kay liye narm kar day. yeh hi dua kartay kartay meri aankh lag gai.

abhi chusni ki shaadi hoay aik din nahi guzra tha kay meray ghar main meri shaadi ki baat chal pari. bhabhi kay sath un ki aik saheli maryam bhi theen. bhabi kay waalid kay kisi dost ki beti theen, aur woh dono mian bivi kisi haadsay ka shikaar ho kar dunya main na rahay thay. bhabi kay waalid aur maryum kay abboo ki dosti, misaali dosti thee. woh jab dunya main na rahay to yeh maryam ko apnay ghar lay aaye aur apni baitioun ki tarah un ki parwarish ki thee.

maan ji ko maryam pehli nazar main hi meray liye pasand aa gain theen. baat thori aur chali aur sab hi razamand ho gaye. mujhsay maan ji nay baat ki aur poocha kay tumhain koi pasand ho to humain bata do warna humain maryam bohat pasand aai hai. main nay bata dia kay nahi mujhay koi pasand nahi. bhaabi nay maryam say bhi poocha, unhoun nay bhi zaada aiteraaz na kia. t’ay yeh hi hoa kay agla aik maheena hum dono ko waqafiat kay liye dia jaaye ga aur agar hum dono ko us kay baad aik doosray par koi aiteraaz na hoa, to hamaari mangani kar di jaaye gi.

phir hum loug sair o tafreeh par nikal paray. baray bhayya nay kahin say poori aik bus numa gaari mangwai thee. hum sab us main kisi na kisi tarah sama hi paray. hum nay pahaaroun ki sair ki. jharnay daikhay. abshaaroun kay barfeelay paani main nahaaye. chatyal maidaanoun main gaye. sehra main khaimay laga kar saari raat baatain keen. chusni nay bilkul theek kaha tha. aik maheenay main mukhtalif khandaan bilkul aik ho gaye. jo thora bohat sa bhi faasla pehlay tha, woh faasla bhi bilkul khatm ho gaya.

waapis aanay sai aik raat qabl hamaara sehra main parao thaa. mujh say aur maryam say mangani kay baaray main poocha gaya. hum dono ko hi koi aiteraaz na tha. mujhay to maryam bohat pasand aain theen so is lamhay ka mujhay kaafi shiddat say intezaar tha. alaao dehkaaya gaya aur us kay ird gird chaadarain bicha kar baithnay ka intezaam kia gaya. aik konay main baray bhayya aur chusni bar b q ka intizaam karnay main masghool thay. sab tayyar hoay, mujhay aur maryum ko bhi jitna mumkin tha tayaar karwaaya gaya. bhabi nay maryum kay haathoun main dhair saari mehndi bhi lagaai.

maryam ko meray pehlu main bithaaya gaya. khusboo ka aik moattar jhonka meri hissoun par haavi ho gaya. mujhay aisay laga jaisay poori kaynaat meray pehlu main simat aai ho. maan ji nay mujhay angoothi pakrai. main nay apnay kaanptay haathoun say maryum ka haath thaama aur unhain angoothi pehna dee. kitni makhrooti unglian theen. kitna jach rahi thee angoothi is hath main. phir unhoun nay mera hath thaam kar mujhay ghari pehnai. aj say pehlay shaid hi main kabhi itna masroor hoa houn. abba ji uth kar aaye aur unhoun nay apni pagri meray sir par pehna di. maryam ko galay lagaaya aur hamain dhairoun duaain deen. phir chusni nay apni bhadi awaaz main gaana shuro kar dia aur mahol ka tlism toota.

is tamaam main main baaqi dunya say kuch itna bayparwah ho gaya kay daftar aur us say juri zindagi ki bilkul hi khabr na rahi. na maqbool ka khayaal raha, na mehru ka. jab gaoun waapis pohanchay to pata chala kay murshad mooch kay bohat say khat aye hoay hain. khat parhay to pata chala kay unhoun nay waapis aanay ki takeed ki thee. tafseel nahi likh thee. ghalati hamaari thee, aik dunya main aisay magn hoay thay kay doosri dunya ko bilkul hi faramosh kar chukay thay. mera akailay waapis jaanay ka dil na tha, chusni ko bhi kaha kay woh bhi chalain. bhabi bhi kehnay lageen kay tum dono ka jaana behtar hai. hum dono hi waapis aaye. haftay kay din ki dopehar thee. makaan par waapis lotay to makaan bilkul khaali. murshad mooch to waisay hi nahi hotay thay par maqbool bhi nadaarad. kamra bhi un ka khaali, na kitaaabain aur na hi baqi mukhtasir sa samaan. abhi hum yeh soch hi rahay thay kay neechay say majeed bhai kay khankaarnay ki awaaz aai. humain bula raha thay. galay laga kar milay. itnay arsay baad daikha tha. main nay unhain apni mangani ka bataaya, unhoun nay aik baar phir galay laga lia.

bataanay lagay kay maqbool waapis aatay hi nokri say istefaa day gaye thay. unhoun nay apnay chacha ki khwaahish poori kar di thee. woh hi walaiti chacha jo un ko apni barkhordaari main lainay ki aas rakhtay thay. ab to un ko pardais gaye hoay bhi bees din ho gaye thay. maqbool nay apni shaadi ki tasveerain bhi bhaiji theen. shehzaday lag rahay thay, bilkul parioun ki kahanioun jaisay shehzaaaday. mujhay pata nahi kyun laga kay har tasveer main maqbool udaas hain. chusni ki bateesi albatta aur bhi baahir nikli thee, maqbool ki shaadi ki khushi sab say zaada shaid un ko hi thee.

aur mehru, mehru kaisi hain. main nay majeed bhai say poocha. laikin un kay baaray main majeed bhai bilkul lailm thay. maqbool kay jaanay kay baad say un say baat hi nahi hoi. tum dono bhi idher nahi thay. mujhay shiddat say ehsaas-e-jurm tha kay main nay mehru ko bilkul hi bhula dia tha. pichlay kuch din main apni zaat main itna magn raha tha kay bhoolay say bhi un ka khayaal mujhay choo kar bhi na guzra tha. pata nahi murshad mooch kia kehna chahatay thay, aisi konsi baat thee jis kay liye unhoun nay humain aur khaas toar par  mujhay foran waapis aanay ki takeed ki thee. hum nay bhi apni laparwaahi main raabtay ka koi zariya hi na chora tha. meray dil main anhonay say khof kay jhakkar chal rahay thay.

‘ap ko murshad mooch kay asl ghar ka pata hai’, main nay majeed bhai say poocha.

‘andaaza nahi hai yaar, un kay ghar aur khandaan kay hawaalay say hum nahi kabhi baat hi nahi ki’. majeed bhai kehnay lagay.

harkat to ghalat thee laikin hum nay murshad mooch ka kamra khangaalnay ka tahayya kia. itnay un ko khat aya kartay thay, har khat par jawaabi pata likha hota tha. chusni nay do teen khat dhoond nikaalay, pata koi itna door ka na tha, faqat do teen ghantay ka hi safr tha. agar hum fori nikaltay to shaam say kaafi pehlay pohanch laitay. majeed bhai say poocha to woh kehnay lagay kay mujh say to is umr main safr nahi hota. main waisay bhi tum logoun ki taraf aksar haftay ki raat guzaarnay aata houn kay idher sakoon say so loun ga. so tum loag  ho ao. main idher hi theek houn.

main aur chusni jaldi jaldi nikal paray. bus pakri to shaam say thori dair pehlay murshad mooch kay gaoun pohanch gaye. chota sa gaoun tha, anjaan hotay bhi apna sa laga. logoun say pata poochnay kay baad kartay karaatay hum un kay ghar pohanch gaye. ghar kay baahir yateem khanay ki takhti lagi thee. humain bohat hairat hoi, laga shaid ghalat pata pooch lia ho. darwaaza khatkhataaya to aik udhair umr kay bazurg nay darwaaza khola. daarhi mooch say andaza ho raha tha kay murshad mooch kay qabeel kay hi hain. humain tassali si hoi kay sahi jagah pohanchay hain.

salam dua karnay kay baad murshad mooch ka poocha. bazurg nay humain ander aanay ko kaha aur yeh jaan kar kay hum un kay dost hain bari garamjoshi ka izhaar kia. andar aik rahdaari say guzr kar konay main aik chotay say daftar numa kamray tak humain laya gaya. phir woh chaaye paani ka poochnay lagay. hum dono musir thay kay takalluf ki zaroorat nahi par woh na maanay. hamaaray mana karnay kay bawajood woh chaye ka intezaam karnay chal diay.

main jidher baitha tha udher say khirki bilkul sath hi thee. thoray hi faaslay par aik masjid thee. beech main khait thay. sooraj ain masjid kay meenar kay peechay doob raha tha. masjid kay meenar kay ooper aik kawwa jurr kar baitha tha. sooraj us ki peechay aisay chupa sa tha kay mujhay us kawway ki bus parchai hi dikh rahi thee. main kawway ko daikhnay main mehv tha kay hamaaray maizbaan kamray main waapis aaa gaye. sath acha khaasa khaanay peenay ka samaan tha. hamaari tawajjuh un ki tarf chali gai. hamara khayal tha kay murshad bhi un kay sath hi houn gay laikin woh bazurg ab bhi akailay hi thay.

‘baita, murshad to ab yahan kabhi nahi aatay unhoun nay kaha’. meray aur chusni dono kay haathoun say chaaye ki pyaali girtay girtay bachi.

‘laikin’, main nay apna jumla adhoora chor dia.

‘baita tum murshad kay dost ho, shaid us nay tumhain kabhi apni zindagi kay baaray main kuch nahi bataaya’, bazurg nay bolay.

hum dono nay hi asbaat main sir hila dia.

‘murshad ki bv aur baiti aik haadsay main chal basay thay. ghumaanay phiraanay nikla tha murshad un dono ko lay kar, hansta hoa, laikin us kay baad woh akaila hi waapis aaaya. us nay is baat ko apnay dil par lay lia. kehta tha kay ab dunya kay liye kuch karna hai. ji lia murshad nay apnay liye jitna jeena tha. is ghar ko us nay phir yateem khaanay main badal dia. har maheenay paisay bhijwaata rehta hai ta kay idher rehnay waalay bachoun ki kafaalat hoti rahay. khud nahi aata, is ghar kay dar-o-deewar say us ki kitni hi yaadain waabasta hain, bus unhi yaadoun say bhaagta reha hai’.

mera demagh saaaeen saaeen kar raha tha. chusni ki taraf daikha to zindagi main pehli dafa un kay chehray kay tasuraat bhi badlay daikhay.

‘baita, main bohat kehta houn murshad ko kay abhi waqt nahi guzra. bohat zindagi baaqi hai. kab tak aisay hi sailaani banay raho gay laikin meri nahi sunta woh. tum loug jab dobara us say milo to samjhana, meri baat to shaid kabhi asr na karay us par’.

‘aur woh khat, aur woh murshad ka har haftay hamain yeh kehna kay woh ghar jaa rahay hain, woh?’ main nay sawal kia.

‘mujhay khud khat bhaijta hai woh. aik sath poora palanda likh kar. main roz ja kar us main say aik khat post kar aata houn. aur jaana kidher hai us nay, koi bhi qabristan ho, shamshaan ghaat ho, udher ja kar baitha rehta hai woh. zindoun say zaada murdoun say baatain karta hai. yeh hi zindagi hai bus us ki’.

woh bazurg kuch aur kehna chah rahay thay laikin masjid say azaan ki awaaz aana shuro ho gai. hum say masjid jaanay ki ijaazat tal kar kay kehnay lagay kay raat idher hi rehna tum dono. main intezaam karwa doun ga. khana bhi pak raha hai, murshad kay mehmaan meray mehmaan hain bus tum loug thehro main namaaz parh kar aaya.

main nay daikha khatoot ka aik palanda waqai maiz ki aik tarf para tha. yeh saaray woh khat thay jo murshad ko aaya kartay thay. yeh saaray khat woh thay jo murshad khud ko hi likha kartay thay. phir khud hi un ko parh kar khush hoa kartay thay. apni zaat ko murshad mooch nay kitnay pardoun main chupa rakha tha. kitna mushkil kaam tha is qadr bharm rakhna, kis qadr mushkil.

murshad mooch, woh hans mukh, milnasaar, rafeeq-ul-qalb insaan jo har aik ki madad kartay kitnay bikhray hoay insaan thay. apni mushkilaat aur dukhoun ka kabhi izhaar hi na kia. hamain khabr bhi na honay di. hawa bhi na lagnay di kay kis qadr karb say guzr rahay hain. kitnay ajeeb insaan thay yeh. aik tarf intay mazboot kay doosroun ko har pal khushian aur asaanian taqseem kar rahay thay. aur doosri tarf itnay bikhray hoay kay khud ko samaitnay ki koshish bhi mumkin na thee.

main nay khirki kay baahir daikha sooraj bilkul ufaq kay peechay chup chuka tha. azaan ki awaaz say meenar par baitha woh kawwa bhi urr chuka tha. jab faiz paanay ka waqt aaya, to parwaaz kar gaya, jab apnay mafaad ka waqt tha, to bahum maujood tha.

maqbool bhi shaid murshad mooch ki tarah qurbaanian daina jaantay thay. jaisay hi qurbaani ka lafz aaya demagh main jhamaaka sa hoa. achaanak say kitni hi karrian demagh may jurna shuroo ho gaeen. main nay chusni ki tarf daikha aur unhoun nay meri tarf.

‘chusni, maqbool aur mehru aik doosray ko pasand kartay thay, par meri wajah say maqbool bilkul chup rahay’, main nay dheemay say unko bola. itni mamooli si baat humain kitni dair say samajh aai thee.

main duaain karta raha tha kay maqbool aur mehru kay dil main ik doosray kay liye pyaar paida ho jaaye. magar mujhay ab samajh thee ai kay un kay diloun main to shaaid ik doosray kay liye kab say pyaar tha. kahani main to main shaitaan bun kar main tapka tha. maqbool itnay seedhay thay kay unhoun nay kabhi pehal hi nahi ki. ghalati un say yeh hoi kay unhoun nay mujhay apna raqeeb samajh lia. aur apnay dil ki achaai kay baayas chup kar kay peechay hatt gaye. na mujhay bataaya, na kisi aur ko. yeh to meri kahaani thee hi nahi. is main to main shaamil tha hi nahi.

majeed bhai ka kehna tha kay qurbaani faqt aik kitaabi jazba hai. koi insaan kisi kay liye qurbaani nahi day sakta laikin maqbool nay kitnay araam say bina kuch kahay un ki baat ko ghalat saabit kar dia tha. kitnay bholay thay maqbool. aik baar ishaara to kartay. koi aisi baat to kartay jis say mujhay andaaza hota. bus khamoshi say chup saadh kay baithay rahay. tabhi jaisay hi hum idher udher hoay, samaan baandha aur apni zindagi ki sab say qeemati cheez ko chor kar door paar nikal paray. koi mann ka itna khaalis kaisay ho sakta hai? itni bari qurbaani woh bhi itni khamoshi say koi kaisay day sakta hai?

aur mehru, mehru bhi shaid intezaar hi karti raheen. kitna udaas hoi theen jab maqbool nay un kay saath taqreeb main shaamil honay say inkaar kia tha. kitna karb tha un kay chehray par. kaisay udaasi say woh us din fawwaray kay gird baithi theen. mujhay tab kyunkar yeh baat samajh na aai thee. udher hi to maujood tha main un kay saamnay, us fawwaray ki seerhioun par baitha. apni zaat main itna magn, apnay nafs main itna gum kay itni seedhi si haqeeqat mujh par aashkaar na hoi. agr main itna khudgharz na hota to pehlay samajh jaata. shaid main un dono ko mila daita. kaash main un dono ko mila daita to shaid aj itna ghamgeen na hota.

main in logoun kay beech tha jo khud gharz na thay, par main un say kuch seekh hi na paaya. un hi ko baysabab ranj daita raha jo meri khaatir khud ko qurbaan kar rahay thay. kitni dair say samjha tha main, aur samajh bhi jab aai jab kuch karnay ko baqi hi na raha. aur ab bhi, itna sab kuch honay kay bawajood bhi main apni zaat par tars khaanay main masroof tha. apnay hi dil main aai khalish ka soch raha tha. apni hi kask ki parwah kar raha tha. kitna khud gharz tha na main, kitna hi khud gharz.

apni hi soch main magn tha kay mujhay chusni ki siskioun ki awaaz aai, woh baqaaida ro rahay thay. ansoo’oun ki dhaar un kay chehray say beh rahi thee. woh chusni jo apnay waalid sahab ko dafnaatay waqt na royay, aj zinda insaanoun ka maatam kar rahay thay.

azmat kay meenar thay yeh sab, aur main us meenar pay baitha aik anjaan ahmaqq kawwa.

 

so to say all good things in life are free tweets as @me_crs
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